All of my stress comes from resistance. From resisting the obstacles that come up. Sometimes, you know, I try so fucking hard to get things right, or to just do something that, to others is supposed to be done a certain way, and then I come up against side swiping surprises or delays or hardships and I freak, I get angry and push against what I now have no choice but to face. I try to thinks of ways to smooth things out or get around the resistance that the physical world has offered up, and if I can't think of a way out, or if "the damage has already been done" I get angry or shame-filled or sad or disappointed. All understandable reactions I suppose. I'm pointing out here that this emotional strife comes from resisting the resistance that the physical world offers.
It's hard to always be paying attention to "all" of the details, to not miss a tiny strand of error or an element of a process that seems secondary to the main construction of the goal. It's hard to not make any mistakes. Mistakes are native to being human, and the society we have here runs on things "running properly." People get fired for mistakes, they lose their jobs or polished reputations. People will hold mistakes against you, no doubt: employers, customers, friends and even sometimes family.
So I say this: it's not the world that I'm fighting against, it's my perception, it's a human kind of persecution that I fight. The world and universe and this physical realm is simply what it is (whatever it is), and many things happen; it's the human construct of process, construction, execution, completion, and goal that causes me emotional strife. I'm disconnected from the harmony of how this place works. I'm trying to make it right, correct, perfect, proper.
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